I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
