he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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