If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize