apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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