i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
