He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
