So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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