Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
