Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
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We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".