and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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