Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
as a side note pls kill me
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