Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize
