apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
