yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
