Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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