You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize