Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Are we still banned from the library?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize