True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Watching her eat just hurts me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
