Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
