He kissed a someone with a penis
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
