It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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