The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
