I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
