I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize