Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?

Fav 5 1056 3582
share tweet
(405): View more from Oklahoma

I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters

Fav 20 1263 4234
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

Fav 11 5685 2259
share tweet
(512): View more from Texas

no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.

Fav 15 3569 1415
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(203): View more from Connecticut

You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

Fav 13 6138 1496
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.

Fav 14 5085 1430
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.

Fav 14 1347 3421
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(438): View more from Quebec

So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.

Fav 2 306 193
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again

Fav 0 41 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT