I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying