Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  After last night, I could never be a politician.

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  (248): After last night, I could never be a politician. http://tfl.nu/69mb
  Replies (11) Good night (1343) Bad night (543)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor

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  (540): I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor http://tfl.nu/zp5d
  Replies (37) Good night (3947) Bad night (1190)
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  (914): View more from New York

  just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix

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  (914): just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix http://tfl.nu/hrwb
  Replies (22) Good night (909) Bad night (3143)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.

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  (612): Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/coa8
  Replies (17) Good night (4522) Bad night (1431)
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  (562): View more from California

  just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.

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  (562): just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore. http://tfl.nu/d75g
  Replies (28) Good night (5240) Bad night (1482)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.

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  (952): i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware. http://tfl.nu/z086
  Replies (4) Good night (2733) Bad night (1746)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.

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  (570): They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them. http://tfl.nu/mod4
  Replies (2) Good night (1661) Bad night (600)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4368) Bad night (638)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.

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  (208): Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind. http://tfl.nu/wqhb
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (473)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

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  (305): So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates http://tfl.nu/kad8
  Replies (11) Good night (450) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon

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  (651): Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon http://tfl.nu/o3ou
  Replies (5) Good night (1268) Bad night (544)
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  (415): View more from California

  If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league

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  (415): If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league http://tfl.nu/jv3f
  Replies (2) Good night (910) Bad night (337)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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  (775): Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure. http://tfl.nu/5ngb
  Replies (5) Good night (678) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys

  (703): View more from Virginia

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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  (334): I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys (703): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/zqx5
  Replies (1) Good night (1053) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.

  (310): View more from California

  When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.

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  (805): I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food. (310): When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis. http://tfl.nu/o33e
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (164)

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