just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Tell her she can't have a vagina
kristin has been a bad kristin
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
