My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
why is half of my head shaved?
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