it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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