I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize