i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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