brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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