Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
