i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
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We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
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One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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