is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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