I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
