And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
