From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
handjob tips. give me some.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
