i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
