And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
