I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
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No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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