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• (647): View more from Ontario

  she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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• (716): View more from New York

  He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I feel a five day drunk coming on.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I

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• (559): View more from California

  Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!

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• (716): View more from New York

  My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.

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