If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
