mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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