Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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