Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
