I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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