Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
