Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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