and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
