you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
