shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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