are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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