Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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