I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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