I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
