i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's blow job season.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
