Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
