omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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