i need an iv and a liver transplant
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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