Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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