Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
