He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
