The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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