Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
