Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
tell me about the fingering
Randomize