So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
