She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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