Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize