She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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