Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
