i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Randomize
